Story = Reality Distortion Field
/By Duncan Anderson. To see all blogs click here.
Summary: IMO you cannot expect to be given a good life, but I try to systematically build one. A key component to this is creating the right stories for yourself and others and thereby ‘distorting’ your reality to continually be better and better.
Overview:
Steve Jobs is famous for ‘having a reality distortion field’.
My characterisation of this is that he was a great storyteller and would change how others viewed the world through stories.
IE before speaking to Jobs, someone would think that an idea didn't make sense, then after speaking to Jobs they would like the idea because Jobs had changed the story around the idea.
Background
Positive Sentiment Override Point = the point at which the positive events mean you do not care about the negative events, ie you have ‘Positive Sentiment Override’.
For employment: Danny Kanheman says that for the average paid job this point is 3:1 (or 75% of events). For example if you work for 4 hours and 3 are positive but 1 is negative you do not care about the 1 negative hour, you have Positive Sentiment Override for it. However if your job was 1:1 (aka 50%) then working for 4 hours would be 2 hours of positive and 2 hours of negative. If the Positive Sentiment Override point is 75% then you would care about the negative hours, and you might look for a new job.
Romantic relationships: John Gotteman says that for an average romantic relationship the Positive Sentiment Override Point is 5:1 (or 83%). So if you have 5x positive interactions and 1x negative interaction you do not care about the negative interaction because of the 5x positive interactions. You have Positive Sentiment Override above 83%.
Monogamy: the standard story is 100% faithful. So you might have 99% positive interactions with your partner (aka above Positive Sentiment Override) but then you find out they have been unfaithful 1x time. This means that you no longer want to be with them. Ie for sexual relations the positive sentiment override point might be 100%.
Textbook: if Edrolo made a textbook with 75% of questions and answers being factually correct I don’t think schools would be happy. We aim for 100% factual correctness and have ~10 layers of checking currently!
Outcome = 1. Raw experience (positive / negative) * 2. How you process ‘Raw Event” * 3. Positive Sentiment Override Point.
Stories are given to you by society (socio-cultural indoctrination) or you can build your own stories.
Standard Society Story = 1. You are given the positive Sentiment Override Point + 2. You are given what events are deemed positive / negative (reality distortion field)
Personally chose story = 1. You choose the Positive Sentiment Override point + 2. You choose what events are deemed positive / negative (reality distortion field)
Comment:
For the longest time I didn’t know I could build my own stories. I was just trying to get a good “1. Raw experience” set. I didn’t know you could “2. Change how you process events” (aka turn a negative event into a positive event) and “3. Change the positive sentiment override point.
You don't work for stories, stories work for you.
IMO for many many events in life you get choose if they are positive or negative, I'm not saying this is easy to do but it is possible!
The ‘Reality Distortion Field’ - changing how you and others 1. View the world and 2. Process events
The better the story you can tell, aka the lower the ‘Positive Sentiment Override’ point AKA the more you care AND the more you can learn from an event the more likely you are to process a raw event as positive!
Yes, I believe that with the right story you can change how you process ‘raw events’ and turn what was ‘negative’(required you to give) into positive (where you ‘getting and giving and get’ with the right story.
You get to have your cake and eat it too:
Having cake = the lower the positive sentiment override the more likely you are to be enjoying something (eg with a job at 1:1 AKA 50% positive sentiment override point you are more likely to enjoy than if the positive sentiment override point is at 3:1 AKA 75%).
Eating your cake = even though being more likely to enjoy something (lower positive sentiment override point) you are ALSO more likely to process a raw event as positive thereby making it EVEN less likely that you will get to the positive sentiment override point and have a positive overall experience.
In equation form:
Stronger story and ability to learn => Lower positive sentiment override point (aka your story has distorted reality)
Stronger story and ability to learn => More likely to process raw event as ‘positive’ (aka your story has distorted reality)
In visual form:
In short, I believe with the right story almost anything is ‘positive’. With the wrong story almost anything is negative.
To change the world first you need a story about how it can be better.
Hopefully the future is better than today. The world doesn't get better by itself, it gets better because people make it better.
IMO to enjoy life and to help others enjoy it is important to build stories that ‘distort’ (aka change the world) from how it currently is.
People will work towards something if they think it is worthwhile (ie if the story is good enough).
“The man with a why can withstand any what.” Viktor frankl.
Get epic at stories for yourself, get epic at stories for others, get epic at stories for your work. Imo doing so is crucial for ‘distorting’ aka ‘changing’ the future and enjoying life!
Jingle:
IMO a core characteristic of a leader is the ability to create and tell new stories!
“Storytelling is the not-so-secret ingredient that makes the difference between being a manager and being a leader.”
Managers tell people what to do.
Leaders inspire people to do (through stories).
“Those who can change your view of the world they can get you to change the world!” DA!
Read on for examples of stories and how I think about part of this at Edrolo.
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What is a story?
Story = 1. Short term + 2. Long term
Good story
1. Short term - you have learned (not that you had a good year or bad year, but have learned). Learning is the key lead indicator to progress. So you must be able to explain to others how you have learned.
2. Long term - that the possible impact to humanity is bigger than it was a year ago.
Bad story
1. Short term - we can make money, market share had gone up
2. Long term - that your competitive position vs other companies has improved
IMO a crucial skill of a leader is to be able to tell good stories (aka narratives around anything).
Company Example: Story = 1. Short term + 2. Long term
1. Shorter term = are we making progress.
The key lead indicator to progress is learning.
So either you have 1. Gotten better in the last year and can clearly articulate how and why in a believable manner that people can get behind.
OR 2. You can show that despite not getting better (eg market share down, client retention down) you can show what you have learned and while this means that you will make progress shortly.
2. Long term = the destination how the company can improve humanity has improved year on year.
IMO the job of all businesses is to improve humanity.
Each year IMO it is crucial to expand the vision of the company so that the long term destination of what the company can do is better than before.
IMO human’s needs and wants are limitless.
IMO the rate of innovation is accelerating.
As such it is therefore possible to expand your company vision each year.
Personal Example: Story = 1. Short term + 2. Long term
1. Shorter term = are improving and / or learning
For yourself or others you need to be able to 1. Show how they are better than they were a year ago or 2. Have learned a stack about ‘what not to do’ vs a year ago so that they will be better soon.
Being able to articulate this for yourself and others is crucial. IMO one should systematically extract learning and codify.
“You do not learn from your experiences, you learn from reflecting on your experiences.”
Three of the avenues I look to extract and codify learnings:
Blogging - writing is thinking. I don’t have a learning and then write it down, I don’t understand something so I write about it and then slowly figure out my thoughts. Ie writing gives me the learning. Then I systematically rewrite the blog AND get someone else to deeply review it. Also I put systems in place to have my learnings 'become unconscious habits’ and also reread blogs multiple times in the future.
A podcast - I speak in a podcast here. Then after each podcast episode James (the person I do the podcast with) systematically deconstruct the podcast and give each other feedback. Honestly, this is more fun than doing the podcast. IMO recording oneself speaking and then reviewing it is EPIC!!!!
Post meeting game analysis - at work I systematically have others deconstruct 1-5x meetings I am in a week to extract learnings. IT IS SO MUCH FUN! This is ‘giving * getting’. I also try to do this for others.
2. Long term = having a vision longer term for what you want to be
This is just that you believe you can add more value to the world in the long run than you did a year ago.
Normally this means 1. You know more and 2. You have more capabilities AND you know how to put them to good use eg in a company with an expanded vision!
Comment:
IMO you need to build these stories for yourself AND for others.
“No one gets to tell you what you like, you get to decide.”
IMO you get to make your own stories in your life.
IMO getting great at making stories is key to building a great life.
The story you have can mean you don’t need to have as many positive experiences
Example 1: “You walk with two people, a good person and a bad person. Both can be your teacher, what to do and what not to do.”
You have a “negative” experience.
1. You can take it as a bad experience and be unhappy about it.
2. You can figure out the learning from it and what not to do (“it’s easier to be smart by not being dumb”) so in the future your life will be better because there will be less of the ‘negative’ event.
Comment:
IMO whether you learn from an event is up to you.
You can take lessons out of anything… or nothing. IMO some people unfortunately only have learning done to them, they don’t teach themselves things.
“The good learn from anything and everyone, the average only from themselves, and the stupid already know everything.” Socrates.
Example 2: How much you get paid at a job can seriously affect your ‘positive sentiment override point’.
For example, if you get paid $60k a year you might be ‘unhappy at your job’ and be thinking about leaving.
But for the exact same job if you were to get paid $600k you might be ‘extremely happy’... in fact there might be almost no job you wouldn’t do for 40 hours a week for $600k a year. Eg clean toilets at the airport for 40 hours… for $600k a year you might ‘happily’ do it!
Comment:
In other words the Positive Sentiment oOverride Point isn’t set. IMO, you get to choose!
Example 3: You mind a friend's house, they have a new pet dog, it wakes you up every 90 mins during the night and either needs to be fed or has been to the toilet in the house which you need to clean up.
You do not enjoy minding your friends house. This pet is making your life worse. You have had a negative experience and cannot wait until your friends are back so you do not need to look after this dog.
Vs. You have your own newborn child (... or you own a newborn… haha). It wakes you up every 90 mins because it needs to be fed or has been to the toilet. Despite being very tired you enjoy doing this because you are helping something you care about. You are hopefully going to be able to make this child’s life much better and doing things like helping it every 90 mins while tiring Is accepted.
Comment:
How much you ‘care’ about something can meaningfully affect whether you will process a ‘raw event’ as positive or negative.
If you care HEAPS then IMO it is much more likely that you will have a story that can process a raw event as positive.
IMO you get to choose the story you have around an activity and the story can determine if you process a raw event as positive / negative.
Overall comment:
I care more and more about Edrolo each year. Each year the story has gotten better (aka progress has been made and long term how much I believe Edrolo can positively impact the world has increased (ie the possible destination of edrolo has improved)).
Also, I like to think that I’ve gotten better at learning from events year on year. Slowly I get better at extracting a learning from a ‘raw event’ and tuning it into a principle (eg this is much of what blogging is for, aka extracting and codifying learnings) so that I can systematically look to ‘implement the learning’ in the future.
What this has meant is that more and more ‘raw events’ get processed as ‘positive’.
Positive / negative vs Getting / Giving & Getting / Getting - “The best things are selfless AND selfish.”
The concept of ‘Positive Sentiment Override’ reduces events into either positive and negative.
However I’d like to propose that there are 3 categories of events.
1. Positive = getting
2. Getting and giving = selfless and selfish
3. Negative = giving = sacrifice
Comment:
IMO the best category is “2. Getting and giving = selfless and selfish”
On average before the agricultural revolution the world was zero sum. IE there was a fixed amount of animals roaming around and berries on the tree. If you got more berries someone else got less berries = zero sum.
On average the world is now positive sum. Ie in a partnership the outcome should be more than the sum of the parts. Ie 1+1=3. IMO the excess output above the sum of the individual parts should be split fairly (see blog on Partnership Economics).
Effectively, done well helping someone out IS helping yourself out.
Giving happiness to someone done well IS giving happiness to yourself.
AKA done well giving = getting. So I try to give (and get) lots. And I also don’t feel guilty anymore about others ‘giving to me’ if I believe they can also getting from it.
I try to only engage is ‘positive sum partnerships’ (eg a meeting, eg coworker relationship, eg business deal, eg friendship)
For me, the more you care and / or can learn about something the more likely you are to see ‘giving as also getting’.
For example most people care a LOT about their child. Therefore getting up 5x times during the night might not be a burden (giving), it might be worth it (giving AND getting).
For example, helping someone who is struggling at work might not be an annoying impediment slowing you down (giving), it might be helping you learn about where they are struggling and improving both the other person and yourself (ie giving and getting).
So basically over time with increased caring and ability to learn I’ve been able to change how I process ‘raw events’ at edrolo.
It’s time to visualise this :).
I’ve been able to reframe what was previously just giving to being both giving AND getting
I’ve been able able to find ways to turn experiences which were just getting into seeing how they’re both getting and giving which is a deeper experience
Onwards and upwards!
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Addendum fun - ignorance is bliss?
You get given stories by society. Eg find a partner, have children, etc.
Is making your own stories better than just taking the standard story?
The future will be different to today. Hopefully better than today.
The world changes because people change it. So find a way to help build a better future!
This means that the stories of today won’t work, and frankly the ‘standard story’ might not fit you.
It’s easier at first to just take ‘the answer’. When you can change the story it means that you doubt yourself and you think ‘well maybe i shouldn’t be treating this event as ‘positive’, maybe it actually is ‘negative’.
But IMO you will question things at one point, it’s best to be constantly changing and upgrading stories.
IMO the sooner you start questioning, the sooner you’ll have stories work for you and not you work for them.
They say philosophy is about asking the right questions, not giving the right answers. I now love that I get to change many many of the stories! It’s the best! But I also love that the stories will never be done, that they will always be a work in progress. I used to like the comfort of fixed stories, but now I like the challenge of of stories I can always change :).
IMO it’s best to be constantly building yourself, 2 steps forward 1 backwards.
Eg trying always to do upgrades but realising in hindsight that some of the upgrades you were putting in are actually downgrades :(.
