Worry is a waste of imagination
/By Daniel Tram with minor input by Duncan Anderson. To see all blogs click here.
Reading time: 6 mins
“Worry is a waste of imagination” - Walt Disney
I first came across the quote in the blog title when a friend said this to me 5 years ago while I was deep in stressville during a project. Somewhat ironically, this only caused things to get worse as in addition to worrying about the project, I now also was worried about being worried. In the past, my on-again-off-again relationship with worry that would make for a great romantic comedy, however, it’s become a far more healthy relationship now thanks to reframing how I see worry. I used to think that any worrying at all was bad and needed to be stamped out, however I’ve come to realise that having no worries at all isn’t realistic, nor desirable. Seeing worry as a positive thing, as long as it’s channelled in the right way has led me to adjust Walt Disney’s quote to: “Worry is your imagination trying to stop you from wasting an opportunity”
Summary:
Worrying is applied caring
The only way to not worry at all is to not care at all
When you care about something you open yourself up to worry
… in case you don’t know, caring is good!
Worry is a good thing as it can help motivate you to avoid a bad outcome
Worry is productive when it spurs action
Worry is counter-productive when you ruminate on the bad outcome and worry about yourself worrying!
Worrying new language
Caring = productive worry = eustress
Distress = counter productive worry
Eustress leads to a utopia, distress leads to a dystopia.
++++++++++++
Worry = applied caring
Our lives have no meaning.
Nothing like some nihilism to get your attention at the start of the blog :P
But seriously, IMO our lives have no imbued meaning. IMO our lives have the meaning that we give to them. Our lives only have meaning because we care about things. Our family. Our friends. The future of humanity. Even the stories that we read, listen to and watch only matter because the creator managed to make us care about the characters.
In some respects: Caring => Meaning.
Jingle: To have a meaningful life, choose what you care about carefully!
Did you get worried when Captain America was alone and it looked like he was able to be killed by Thanos? That’s because you cared. Did you get a little teary when Mufasa fell to his death? That’s because you cared. Oh, yeah… spoilers (but I mean… if you haven’t watched Avengers Endgame by now then you probably don’t care, and I’m just going to assume everyone has watched Lion King, and if not, please stop reading and go watch it now :) ).
When you care about something, you don’t want bad things to happen and when you don’t want bad things to happen, it’s natural to worry about those bad things happening.
It is good to worry about your kids getting hurt. It is good to worry about if you’re going to find a way to keep your business afloat so you can pay your employees. It is good to worry about if the educational products that you’re building actually are as effective as you think.
The only way to not worry at all is to not care at all, and if you don’t care at all, it’s hard to effectively improve the world, and if you don’t care at improving the world at all (which includes improving the lives of your friends and family around you), then we’re back at nihilism and a lack of meaning in the world.
IMO, when you care in order to open yourself to upside (feeling happy if things you care about go well) you also open yourself to the possibility of downside (feeling sad if things you care about don’t go well).
Upside in life comes from caring
Downside in life comes from caring
Put another way:
Eliminating all possibility of downside = Not Caring at all
BUT: Not Caring at all = Eliminating all possibility of upside
I want to maximise the amount I care… but I want to do it in a way where I’m not crushed by counter productive caring. The trick (and I’ve found it really really tricky) is to care carefully.
The meta-worry quadrants
How to move from ‘Immobilised with worry’ to ‘Focussed on getting stuff done’
The key difference between ‘Immobilised with worry’ and ‘Focussed on getting stuff done’ is that time spent worrying is instead used to take action.
Taking action is not only the key difference between these two states, but it is also the best technique to move from being ‘Immobilised with worry’ to ‘Focussed on getting stuff done’. Taking action is what short-circuits the mental loop of over-thinking because it shifts the focus away from thinking about the future and how it’s going to be bad, and shifts the focus towards what you can do right now to improve the outcome.
Often, the biggest challenge is taking that first step of taking action. The best way to increase the probability that action is taken is to make that first step seem as achievable as possible. The importance of using small steps to prompt action has been written and talked about extensively including here, here and here, and that is for a reason - it works! All large actions need to start somewhere small to get the momentum going. So do something - anything! Just starting takes your mind off the worry, and let you start feeling good about making things better.
If you’re already spending time in the ‘Focussed on getting stuff done’ state and just want to spend more time there, it’s more about building the self-awareness to recognise when you’re ruminating unnecessarily. Meditating can help build this mental clarity, as can periodically taking mental breaks to ‘check-in’ with yourself. Productivity techniques like the 25 minute on/5 minutes off Pomodoro technique can also help focus your effort and reduce excessive mental wondering.
Where you can go wrong with worrying
Disproportionately worrying about something more than is warranted. This is usually because:
The consequence of the outcome is perceived as far higher than it is in reality
If nobody’s life is in danger or you’re unlikely to face financial ruin, it’s likely you don’t need to worry as much as you are!
“Risk - the likelihood of an irreversible negative outcome” - Tim Ferris
Most consequences actually are reversible!
The probability of the outcome is perceived as far higher than it is in reality
Just because you see a lot of information about something, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s likely to happen to you (e.g. we should be a lot more worried about car accidents than terrorist attacks)
You’re worried about things you can’t control
Focussing on something beyond your locus of control, almost by definition, a waste of time - especially if that time could be used productively!
If you can’t control part of an outcome, it would make more sense to focus on the part of the outcome that you CAN control - because you can then change something!
Taking action can help you understand the boundaries of what you actually can and can’t control
Concluding thoughts
Worrying is ok! The important thing is to worry in the right way - away that prompts action
Aiming to get rid of all worry is not only unrealistic for most people, but also undesirable!