Being easy to work with is the outcome of hard work
/By Duncan Anderson. To see all blogs click here.
Reading time: 4 mins
One Sentence Summary: Your work outcome = Value of your input * How easy you are to work with; it feels to me most upgrade talk is around improving value; IMO being good to work with is as important; anything times zero is zero.
Being easy to work with is... good
How easy you are to work with grab bag =
1. Messaging tries to provoke thought, not tell people how it is
+ 4. Intellectually flexible bending towards the common good (not narrow self interest)
+ 5. High order strategic thinker (tries to see the bigger picture, not focus on individual pieces)
+ 6. Consciously build work relationships (small talk is no small matter)
+ 7. Conversation conventions - thoughts on how not to derail meetings
+ 8. Good energy (eg Serious with a smile)
+ 9. Assume positive intent (see below)
Comment
This is obviously a non-exhaustive list… I don’t think there is a panacea to being easy to work with. I plan to try and upgrade my ability to add value at work indefinitely. I also plan to try and upgrade how good I am to work with indefinitely.
Jingle: if you haven’t worked hard at being easy to work with you are likely hard to work with.
Being easy to work with makes everything easier
People work on improving strategic thinking. People work on improving knowledge of an industry. I think you should also work on being easy to work with… constantly!
Your work outcome = 1. IQ (value added) * 2. EQ [emotional intelligence] (how easy you are to work with)
Anything times zero is zero.
The higher the amount of value you add the more you’ll be able to get away with being hard to work with… but why would you want that?
I’ve often found that being good to work with for others is being good to work with for yourself.
Good you are to work with gradations
In short, I think being hard to work with will impact your ability to grow and add value in the long term as well as, of course, the enjoyability. So, being good to work with isn’t just a ‘nice to have’, it’s a big deal!
Assume positive intent - Conscious annoyance vs Unconscious annoyance
Assume positive intent = that someone didn’t try / intend to annoy you.
Most days at work someone will annoy you. Almost always they didn’t come to work setting out to annoy you…
… I’ve come to believe most weeks at work I’ll annoy someone without intending to do so.
Conscious annoyance vs Unconscious annoyance
IMO consciously being annoying (eg aggravating someone) is not ok at work. You get exactly the behaviour you allow, you do not allow this.
However, unconscious annoyance is inevitable at work. It’s not ok to get bent out of shape if someone unconsciously annoyed you.
*aside: one should try and look for possible 2nd order outcomes of one's actions, just because you didn’t intend to annoy someone isn’t enough. If it’s foreseeable that your actions would be annoying then just because you didn’t intend to be annoying isn’t IMO enough.
If you are annoyed about the behaviour of someone… try not to don’t be annoyed as they likely didn’t intentionally annoy you.
If you are annoyed and get annoyed…
… then the other person can get annoyed because you are annoyed...
… then you get further annoyed…
Ah a wonderful self fulfilling negative feedback loop.
Instead, either 1. Don’t sweat the small things or 2. try to let the other person know, in a positive sum way, that how they put something might have been interpreted in an annoying light.
If you only take away one thing
Being easy to work with is a ‘soft skill’... but why would you want to be hard to work with?
You don’t need to be best friends with everyone at work, but it’s ideal to be the best person to work with at work!