Management Styles: be authoritative, not permissive or helicopter

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By Duncan Anderson. To see all blogs click here.

Reading time: 7 mins


Summary: A model I find useful to help early managers is transplanting parenting styles into management styles. I often find that early managers are either ‘permissive’ (don’t pull up direct reports when they should), or ‘helicopter’ (don’t allow directs to make mistakes, which done well are great learning opportunities)... or permissive and helicopter at the same time! Over time I find that good managers end up as ‘authoritative’ (care, have a strong relationship, but have limits & boundaries, high expectations and foster psychological safety such as mistakes are an opportunity to learn). I’ve found the ability to talk about different management styles can help yourself and others become more self aware and level up faster. 


A well known model of parenting styles

  • Limits & Boundaries ≈ Principles, Rules and Effective Consequences (through Natural and Related Consequences). 

  • Downside removal - Limits & Boundaries: 

    • The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.

    • You get exactly the behaviour you allow. 

    • Parenting: eg no hitting others, eg you clean up after yourself. 

    • Management: eg you are on time to meetings, eg you speak in a positive sum fashion. 

  • Adding upside - Limits & Boundaries: eg expectations

    • “You rise to the level of your expectations.” There is much research about this in education. 

    • Low expectations = Bad

    • High expectations = Good

    • Unrealistically high expectations = Bad. 

    • Parenting: you will do your homework every day, you will read for 30 mins a day, you can pick the book you want to read but you have to read. 

    • Management: I expect you to ask for help when you need it but I also expect you to persist with problems and see challenges as positive and to expect to make mistakes in certain places and to look to learn from the mistakes. 

  • Love & Warth ≈ Relationship strength

    • No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

  • Indulgent ≈ Permissive

  • Watch great video on 7 min video on parenting styles.

    • Please watch this video as it brings in a 5th style ‘Helicopter Parenting’. 

    • Honestly this video is great. 

  • For over 25 years, authoritative parenting has been consistently linked to the most positive outcomes in many studies - link. 


Parenting Styles ≈ Management Styles

  • Obviously there are many more than just the 5 parenting styles mentioned above (neglect, indulgent, authoritarian, authoritative and helicopter). All models are wrong, some are useful. However I find these parenting styles useful to talk to regarding people management. 

  • Obviously parenting and white collar work for adults are not 100% the same! As an example I think it’s roughly 50:50 the responsibility of a manager and a direct report to build a strong relationship. One way I articulate relationship strength (this I see as a two way street): 

    • Negative relationship strength = Will work against you

    • Zero relationship strength = Don’t really talk about issues

    • Low relationship strength = Will bring larges issues to you

    • Medium relationship strength = Will bring mediums

    • High relationship strength = Will bring smalls, or anything, but doesn't need to. 

    • Visa versa = Will be listened to you if you have something you want to say

  • IMO it’s not acceptable not to care, it’s not acceptable not to put in the work to build relationship strength. I’m going to assume that managers and directs have a solid relationship and care. 

  • This means the management styles possible are: Helicopter Manager, Permissive Manager and Authoritative Manager. 

  • I expect directs to foster a growth mindset, I expect managers to help foster a growth mindset. One core component of a growth mindset is how mistakes are treated. Are mistakes a good thing, an opportunity to learn, or something to be shunned and protected from? My fav growth mindset poster.

  • For the sake of this blog I’m mainly going to define a Helicopter Manager as someone who doesn’t let others make mistakes. 

  • They are hovering around trying to help as much as possible. 

  • I used to think the best managers were the best helpers of directs. Now I think the best managers are those who are best at helping directs help themselves. A core component of this is to allow a safe space for directs to make mistakes and learn. 

  • Here is a visual for Permissive Managers Vs Helicopter Managers Vs Authoritative Managers

Is it ever good to be a Helicopter Manager? 

  • Sometimes I talk about two types of time at work: 

    • 1. Where there is a short term time deliverable

    • 2. Where there isn’t a short term time deliverable

  • 1. Where there is a short term time deliverable => Focus on speed of getting something done AKA likely help a lot and minimise chance of mistakes AKA perhaps being a Helicopter Manager is optimal. 

  • 2. Where there isn’t a short term time deliverable => Focus on trajectory of improvement of direct AKA likely have psychological safety around mistakes and make space for someone to level up AKA perhaps being an Authoritative Manager is optimal. 

  • Jingle: If you want to build your career to the point you can afford to be in a helicopter (from time to time), best not to be a helicopter manager (except in rare times).


If you only take away one thing

  • If you can’t describe what kind of manager you have or are, then you are likely missing opportunities to help them and yourself grow. 

  • Obviously these relatively low resolution manager types are not everything, but I do find them quite useful!