Positive Sum Discussions = 1. Message Positive Sum * 2. Messaging Positive Sum * 3. Interactions Positive Sum
/By Duncan Anderson. To see all blogs click here.
Reading time: 5 mins
Summary: Outcome = Message * Messaging. I’ve found the outcome of a discussion can range from ‘hated it’ to ‘life changing’ and everything in between. I think one can level up at discussions, and one should proactively try to do so.
“You do not learn from your experiences, you learn from reflecting on your experiences.” John Dewy
One form of reflection = Being able to meta-describe what happened.
Ideally you can meta-describe all of your work discussions (and perhaps even social conversations) not just upon reflection, but real time!
A framework I use for to try meta-describe work discussions is:
1. Was the message positive sum (not negative sum)?
+ 2. Was the messaging positive sum (not negative sum)?
+ 3. Were the interactions between participants positive sum?
Jingle: So your discussions don’t disgust, meta-planning and meta-describing is a must!
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Details
Positive Sum Discussion = 1. Message Positive Sum * 2. Messaging Positive Sum * 3. Positive sum interactions (conversation conventions)
1. Message Positive Sum =
1.1 Diagnose before you prescribe (aka build a MECE’d picture of the problem space that is jointly agreed upon before putting forward solutions, you might need to MECE from 2+ perspectives)
+ 1.2 When putting forward solutions normally have a minimum of 2 options, build a model to explain the tradeoffs between the 2+ options and which option overall you recommend in something like a tradeoff table.
I honestly feel that many work discussions should be had with a spreadsheet open and the spreadsheet being populated live with the ideas people put forward being built into models.
This way you can start to see the different pieces of the problem space and components of a solution set vs just randoming throwing out one thing after another and at the end having not really been able to build anything!
+ 1.3 Doing a unit of ‘Angel’s Advocate’ (AKA Devil’s UnDisqualified Decisions)
Recommended things to avoid:
Jumping to proposing solutions without first agreeing upon the problem space.
Having a partial view of the problem space, AKA not having mapped out the problem space fully into a MECE’d model (not having a ~100% coverage problem space framework)
If you are putting forward solutions, only putting forward one solution (problem solving is not going with the first idea that comes to mind). Normally a minimum of 2 options so you can start to try and see tradeoffs and prioritise.
Putting forward a solution that isn’t in the form of a model where you can see the multiple variables in your solution (eg in a tradeoff table). I often find if you don’t do this one can oversimplify the proposal to one variable when normally things are more complex than this.
2. Messaging Positive Sum =
2.1 Try not to use absolute language.
Eg Don’t “this will help”, do “I think this will help because X,Y&Z, do you feel that is reasonable?”
IMO good messaging tries to provoke thought, not tell people how it is.
Or “Messaging Confidence < Message Confidence”.
Recommended things to avoid:
Doing defence mode instead of understanding mode.
Not taking time to think about how to put something (your messaging) before talking.
Not changing your mind when it makes sense. The ability to change your mind is a super power.” Ray Dalio
3. Positive sum interactions (conversation conventions)
Conversation conventions - thoughts on how not to derail meetings
We are taught about maths, we are made to write essays, we learn about chemical reactions… but we aren’t taught about quality verbal communications...
Recommended things to avoid:
Having discussions devolve to people just interrupting each other.
Not proactively making space for the input of others.
Tangenting off from the point you are trying to make.
Just for fun, a couple of other ideas
Strawmen arguments - link.
A strawman is a version of an argument that no one actually believes, but is very easy to dispute.
If you only take away one thing
I honestly think that having high quality “Positive Sum Discussions” is one of the hardest things there is to do.
Like one can learn maths, or build empathy, I strongly believe one can level up in discussion ability.
You’ll likely do a lot of verbal communication in your life, your life should be better if you can communicate well.
An extraordinary amount of work is discussions in meetings. IMO if a company can verbally communicate well, it’s likely the company can do well.
People will often talk about how ‘culture is key’ for a company and they’ll actively work on culture. IMO discussion ability is upstream of culture. If you can’t discuss well then likely you don’t look forward to meetings and cultural efforts can be for naught!
‘Culture eats strategy for breakfast’ Peter Drucker. If discussion ability is upstream of culture, then discussion ability eats culture for breakfast!