The direct and indirect approach. Try to come up with both.
/By Duncan Anderson. To see all blogs click here.
Reading time: 5 mins
There is almost always a direct and an indirect approach
You can lead a horse to water but can you get it to drink?
Often, I find the indirect approach is a much better way of getting someone to ‘want to drink the water’. AKA I often find that the indirect approach is more positive sum than the direct approach.
Outcome = 1. Quality of the idea * 2. How much someone wants to get on board with the idea
2. How much someone wants to get on board with the idea = IMO SUPER IMPORTANT!
It doesn’t matter how good your idea is if someone doesn’t want to get on board.
They say ‘politics is the art of the possible’. IMO ‘helping others is the art of what it is possible to get people on board with’.
IMO ideas can be put forward in a ‘positive sum, zero sum or negative sum’ fashion.
I find that it’s hard to figure out how to put ideas forward in a positive sum fashion… but that it’s almost always possible.
IMO, ideally all ideas are put forward in a positive sum fashion. One key method I have for making things positive sum is the ‘indirect approach’.
Before doing something I try to ask myself (and others): What is the direct approach? What is the indirect approach? Which approach is less likely to encroach?
I'll be more direct, I almost never think one should move ahead until one has come up with and considered the indirect approach.
Jingle: for the most direct progress, try the indirect process.
Direct vs Indirect Approach - Examples
You have an idea for product that you think someone should be considering:
Direct approach: I think we should put this idea into the product.
Indirect approach:
I’ve been thinking about the idea of ‘skills’ as a separate concept we can use to make the curriculum interesting and relevant.
Then you sit and chat for 1 hour to explore the idea of skills.
After this chat you ask the other to write some metacognition thoughts about the idea of ‘skills’?
Then, after this, you ask them if they think they want to include the idea of ‘skills’ in the product. Normally you are on the same page, but if not you have the basis for a really interesting conversation!
You are interested in someone’s thoughts on an idea:
Direct approach: What do you think about Idea X?
Indirect approach: What do you think Person A would think about Idea X? What do you think Person B would think about Idea X?
Comment
Inside of me asking you how two different people would think of something you also point out what you would think.
Put the shoe on the other foot:
Direct approach: We have a process for making content, but you didn’t follow the process, can you please let me know why?
Indirect approach: Hey, with new colleague X, do you think it’s important that they follow the process?
Comment
Often without realising it people have different standards for themselves to others… which they realise when you point it out.
You don’t need to talk to them directly about the point, as it’s pretty clear they don’t want others to do the behaviour they just did. And if they do it again you can have a very direct conversation.
In some respects my default is: 1. Do the indirect approach (intended 2nd order message). If this doesn’t hit home then you have a good basis for the 2. Direct approach.
Wanting to encourage a type of behaviour in someone:
Direct approach: I think you should do more of X.
Indirect approach: You praise the behaviour you are wanting more of when another person does it publicly in front of someone. Then you get their manager to bring up this behaviour in their next 1:1.
Comment
IMO one should be constantly trying to build and encourage the behaviours you want in yourself and others.
Be the change you want to see.
Build yourself into the person you want to be.
Try to help others see changes that they want to make to themselves (indirect approach), not tell them something is not good enough (direct approach).
To have a friend, first, be a friend:
Circumstances: you want to have an in depth conversation about how they might want to change their approach.
Direct approach: I think you should consider changing your approach.
Indirect approach:
(first be a friend, aka demonstrate a unit of vulnerability) you ask the person for advice and how you are thinking about changing your approach here. What do they think? You then have a nice 15 min chat about things.
(then you can see if they are also wanting to be vulnerable) You then say ‘hey, thanks for the chat 2 weeks ago. I’ve been thinking about other places we might want to consider different approaches. What do you think about approach B for this?
Comment
You don’t necessarily talk directly about their approach being suboptimal in your opinion, you just put forward another approach and they felt you listened to them, so they should also listen to you. They feel that you are there to help!
We are all players, we are all coaches.
The only feedback you should give is an ‘upgrade opportunity’. IMO one of the best ways to give an upgrade opportunity is to 1. Help someone understand their metacognition and 2. Be able to upgrade their metacognition.
Feedback levels:
-L1: your output was good / bad. What is someone meant to do with that?
L0: your output was good / bad with specific reason
L1: your output was good / bad with specific reason + here is an example of better output with reason
L2: awareness of and explaining what possible metacognition could be for a certain output. Eg are we all having the following blind spot? Eg are we stuck with anchoring bias?
L3: L2 + explaining how to have better metacognition, aka increase the quality of someone’s thinking
Direct approach: your output was bad.
Indirect approach: can you talk to me about how you came to this output? Ah, that’s an interesting strategy (metacognition pattern), what I’ve tried to do is think about including Perspective B as well and that this can mean I think the optimal output might be different here, thoughts?
Comment
Talking to metacognition often comes across as helping.
Talking to output often comes across as a dressing down.
If you only take one thing away:
I find typically you don’t get very far telling people what to do. Normally, I try to provoke thought and let others consider what to do.
I like to think I’m a work in progress, I like to think I’ll always be a work in progress.
Please try to help me progress… ideally in a positive sum way… I’ll try to do the same for you.